Health
Throuples 24’s biggest sexual trend
Troubles are this year’s biggest sexual trend along with cottaging, mutual masturbation and polyamory said experts.
Society is moving at a rapid pace and in a post-pandemic world it is reaching a velocity nobody expected kind of. But as humanity’s search continues for fulfilment across all kinds of divides and taboos, a new kind of sexual revolution is taking hold.
There are a few breakout trends that you should take note of, and while South Africa sometimes segues from global movements because of our milieus, the direction is clear.
“We are moving towards a much more sexually self-realised society focusing on pleasure, more fun, more adventure and less judgment,” said sex educator Lisa Welsh.
Throuples: Sexual tastes are evolving and so too are how couples are defined. One of the biggest global trends for the year is troubles. Analysis by several experts and online searches show that relationships where three partners, in different configurations of gender, come together. In South Africa online interest in the topic has surged by 40% over the past 12 months.
“Social media has been at the driver’s end of promoting this lifestyle and a growing number of people are opting for configurations of three, either as a starting point to explore ethical non-monogamy or polyamory or simply to broaden their relationship horizon to include a third sexual and emotional partner,” said Welsh.
Bondage: While Shibari, or Japanese rope bondage is set to get lovers hot under the collar around the world, South Africa is not far behind with searches for Bondage growing in triple digits at 180% in 2023. Shibari is slowly making inroads, too.
Edging: Delaying orgasm or premature ejaculation, making bedtime a longer fun time is a big trend. “Research shows that most men take five-and-a-half minutes to ejaculate, while the average woman takes 13-and-a-half minutes to experience orgasm. That’s more than double the time,” said Welsh and added that techniques and toys to achieve delayed pleasure in bed will rank high on everyone’s wish lists this year.
Cottaging or sex in risky public spaces has seen interest decline in other parts of the world but at home, there has been a great increase in online interest in this pursuit.
“The ‘will we or won’t we get caught’ rush of semi-public sex can be a great turn-on and enhance sexual outcomes,” said Welsh.
“Secluded spots in the garden at a wedding or a party, a toilet cubicle or change room in a mall, these are all relatively safe spots to pursue naughty adventures, and South Africans will be doing a lot more of that this year,” expects Welsh.
Mutual Masturbation is a breakout trend for South Africans. The benefits of masturbation and self-love are well documented but, said Welsh, there is a marked move among people to simply gift pleasure to one another whether they are in a relationship and, on the other hand, couples and troubles are discovering the joys of touch as an alternative to dry humping or penetrative sexual activity.
Outercourse or dry humping first trended in 2021 and its popularity has surged. It will continue to trend this year, said Welsh. “Non-penetrative grinding and rubbing, touching is sensual, it plays on the mind and all the other senses, sometimes with delayed penetration or masturbation at other times,” she shared, “simply for arousal, adrenaline and feel-good purposes”.
Ethical non-monogamy and the realisation between couples that there may be a separation between sex, love, and the notion of broadening sexual horizons, “to keep the flame alive” or to simply broaden personal horizons is growing. “It must be approached carefully, as it could also ruin a relationship,” said Welsh. “Consent, lots of discussion and support between partners is essential. It demands a kind of relationship honesty that is often neglected and, on the other hand, a whole new world to explore,” she said.
Lube is back: Welsh said using proper water-based lubricants that were manufactured for purpose can increase pleasure, induce orgasm quicker in certain instances and add a touch of spice to toy-play and foreplay.
Fluidity amongst younger generations is already well accepted but cross-dressing or gender bending among older generations is gaining traction in the bedroom. It’s the next step in role-play and an adventure that many may still be afraid to explore in public, but the kind of dress-up that might fulfil several fantasies in the bedroom.
